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Can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel? Light a fu*king fire.
Do you think the man from Seattle I saw briefly a few years back just followed me intentionally or accidentally? Can’t be coincidentally, right? It ended badly for both of us, but seeing his name still made me remember what I saw in him/us and smile. *If you see this, hi.
Um, hey @Twitter, I hear you’re now banning women reported by men they rejected. Without real investigation. Or telling said women who or why. This seems like...misogyny. google.com/amp/s/melmagaz… #twitter #twitterfail
Beware Jarrett, 50, who recently moved to Los Angeles from Texas and did not attend Harvard as his tinder profile states. #OnlineDating #datingadvice
Think the thing that shocks me most on dating profiles is when men describe themselves as “apolitical.” Sitting on the sidelines in these horrifying times tells so much about a person. #womensrights #humanrights
Entirely grosses me out when men who post photos featuring their daughters on dating sites then outline their own sexual desires or non-vanilla needs.
This head cold has my voice bouncing between 85-year-old bubbe and phone sex worker. Hope one or the other works for my date tonight.
Outside of a dating site, I have never ever heard a man say, “I love to cuddle” and don’t want to, either.
At the end of the day, it's about being with someone who knows how you like your coffee.
Finally broke over the many men who post pictures swimming with captive dolphins (and petting tigers - what’s up with that? Where are these tigers kept?). #onlinedating #freethedolphins
Let the #NewYearsResolution’s begin: Be kind and full of love and...set boundaries like a motherfucker.
You think #JayLeno and #DickVanDyke have any idea how often they pop up in photos on the dating profiles of men from Los Angeles? #onlinedating #onlyinla
Whenever the light goes out in the fridge, I panic that I’ll need a new...fridge. The relief when the replacement bulb lights up is almost worth it. #homerepair
Been gone awhile. Back to see #OKCupid has outdone itself again. Now 1st messages aren’t dated, can’t see messages unless I like the guy first, etc. Anyone - everyone? - else hate this, too? #okstupid #onlinedating #datingadvice
Ladies, let’s all swipe right on any California firefighters who are online dating to thank them personally and perhaps privately for their bravery and selfless service. #HillFire #CampFire #WoolseyFire #firefighters
He had an OK bio. Then he had a great one. Because he copied the highlights from mine after we matched - then told me how similar we are. Uh, no. #redflag #tinder #onlinedating
Cropped his head for dignity’s sake. Not that he has any. Caption legit. #pottyhumor #onlinedating #datinglife #selfie
As luck would have it, a 36-hour fast for medical testing purposes allows clear liquids and - here's where the luck comes in - chardonnay is a clear liquid. I swear I just called and confirmed with the doctor. #salud #toyourhealth
On dating sites, I prefer men who use words and wear shirts.
I think maybe I just want someone who knows the difference between wanting me to complement him and wanting me to compliment him.
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