Jobseeker Anonymous
@JobHuntingBlues
I believe those who have taken the jobs I want are most likely gremlins in disguise. Good luck having them hang around the water cooler.
You might like
My solution to being broke. Feed the kitty yfrog.com/gyv0iepj
Upon realizing I'm broke, I upgraded to an iPhone. Why eat when you can read nyt on a park bench. #priorities
End of the world you say? Hopefully that will open up some jobs
Can I work for free? Sure as soon as you figure out how I can live for free #livefreediehard
Skills I tell employers: organized, efficient, detailed-orientated. Skills I actually possess: reciting #imdb trivia & stacking cherrios
How do I know its Friday the 13th? I woke up with the Teddy Bear Picnic song in my head.
Simon and garfunkel is my anti-anxiety medication. And gin. Definitely gin.
Knowing kid rock has a job is really salt in the unemployed wound
I advocate we only use the hashtags for puns so I can stop seeing #iluvmylife and #omg and start seeing #puntingdumbpeople
Excepting charity donations to get that overcapacity whale some slimfast or swimming lessons. Stop freeloading big blue. #whalewars
Shirts with tags that say "hand washed" are code for, "I will never wash you" #febreeze
The dancing icon on Google has almost converted me to Bing. Away with you dancing fiend! Let me google jobs in peace!
Radiohead always makes me realize there is someone out there worst than me. It works better than those infomercials that urge you to donate.
Reasons to get married: 1. Health Insurance 2. Love
Breaking news:The season of Spring has been laid off, in a press conference God said, "Due to budget cuts we'll make due with 3 seasons"
Do employers judge ppl who use the duckface in their fb profile picture? To me duckface=un-hireable. Straighten those lips sista! #sadduck
40 percent of college grads end up settling for jobs that don't require a degree | MLive.com mlive.com/jobs/index.ssf…
If someone was given a job to direct Final Destination 5, then theres hope I can get a job running an overdone franchise into the ground
I want to be a professional cat petter. Slogan "Let me give your felines the love you don't have time for." Aka I prostitute for cats.
I remember everything I should be thankful for the second after I bite my tongue.
United States Trends
- 1. George Springer 19.5K posts
- 2. Mariners 54.7K posts
- 3. #WWERaw 51K posts
- 4. Baker 33.9K posts
- 5. Blue Jays 38.7K posts
- 6. Gibbs 22.2K posts
- 7. Lions 85.4K posts
- 8. Mike Evans 13.2K posts
- 9. #ALCS 8,209 posts
- 10. Texans 22.1K posts
- 11. Dan Wilson 2,262 posts
- 12. Munoz 8,523 posts
- 13. Bucs 21.7K posts
- 14. LA Knight 5,439 posts
- 15. White House 261K posts
- 16. #OnePride 8,868 posts
- 17. Bazardo 1,571 posts
- 18. Jeff Hoffman 1,248 posts
- 19. Jey Uso 5,419 posts
- 20. Tez Johnson 3,249 posts
Something went wrong.
Something went wrong.