Jeff (Managing Associate)
@ManagingAssoc
T-200 grad/AM1000 Associate
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Our summer associate told me “I had no rizz” and I told him “he didn’t have a job here next year.”
When the counterparty changes “Contract” to the “Agreement”
Took four Tylenols and now I can’t stop thinking about trains
Do you know how many trip and falls this will cause? My kids (3) can finally go to college (Appalachian State).
Our new community just hit the market in Zanesville, OH. Each house has 20+ parking spots for boats, RVs, ATVs and all their cousins to stay over during deer hunting season. Houses start at $865k + $15,000/parking spot. Pre-sold 90/100 homes. Only 10 left!
This guy hasn’t managed shit
“managing associate” has the same feel as hall monitor
Board of Directors
I agree (My clients trip in parking lots)
This is the perfect way to build cities (I own the parking lots)
guess who represents the neighbor
Pleased to announce that my elderly neighbor slipped down his driveway (I own the urgent care down the road)
I was counsel for this deal. We ended up using a Buyer Note to finance it (patent pending). The Seller didn’t have to go out of pocket at all. A win for chase.
I bought a local vet business Revenue was $1.2 million last year But costs were huge ($950k) They spent $600k on vet salaries! Fired all the vets and replaced them with 1 employee in Thailand making $4/hr, and ChatGPT ($20/mo) The remote employee diagnoses all the pets’…
Fool me one time? Shame on you. Fool me two times? Shame on me. Fool me three times? Hello Mr. President.
The mouse I use to click in and out of documents produced in discovery
If you looked at this photo, with zero context, what would you think this is?
How do I endorse someone for crime?
Internal emails
I now do robot divorces.
Introducing NEO Beta. Designed for humans. Built for the home.
nobody will remember: - your salary - how “busy you were” - how many hours you worked people will remember: - how many hours you billed - if you billed enough hours - if you told others how many hours you billed
I’m in the Trump live and they just confirmed that your friends really do have a separate group chat without you
I imagine my former law professors would look pretty similar to Raygun the Olympic breakdancer if they ever had to appear in court.
Misspelling “Public Law” and creating fun nightmares for years to come.
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