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Give a girl a fish, and you feed her for a day. Torture her with a tool she doesn't know how to use, and you get to keep going on that jigsaw puzzle.
Fix the income gap, you barely sentient kitchen sponge.
Sen. Lindsey Graham: "I want to help you if you've lost your job -- but you shouldn't be paid more in unemployment than you do at work."
HAHAHA THAT'S NOT A CAN OF GOYA BEANS IT'S CAKE. WHO'S OWNED NOW? Oh. Wait.
Maybe stop boycotting dictionaries.
Sen. Lindsey Graham: "I want to help you if you've lost your job -- but you shouldn't be paid more in unemployment than you do at work."
Somewhere in this house is a glass of wine I poured about an hour ago and have been searching for off and on ever since, and that accurately sums up my coronavirus experience.
Women of Earth: Can we agree right now to relegate bras to the pre-Coronavirus era? THIS IS OUR CHANCE.
I guess this thing still runs. And it was right where I left it. Hey, Twitter!
Yes, please. I would like an adult security blanket. punchnels.com/editor/punchli…
So this happened: punchnels.com And I couldn't be more excited about it.
Towns on the way to Wabash: Aroma, Normal, and "The Only Swayzee in the World." Plus a golf course called Purgatory.
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