cardi b is lovely enough that her otherwise mediocre art is complete drenched in her own charisma and rises above itself,,, this album (aside from the lizzo song) is an absolute celebration of joy, life and color. might as well be an indian wedding
EPISODE FOUR: THE SEX AUDITORIUM AND ITS CONCESSIONS. TOMORROW
the beautiful art history major and her ugly thumb-neck fraternity boyfriend
when people today are like “today is so crazy” im like literally why. explain how
being loud about your insecurities is unerotic and unattractive. and that’s okay! we dont always have to be attractive. but this is why its SAURR important to have a few Great friends who you KNOW dont wanna fuck you. so u can text them anytime and be like “wait im legit ugly”
there’s something deeply millennial about a headache… not a dig, just an observation… I was gonna post a joke on my instagram about my headache and i was like hm, this doesn’t feel like my culture… and i wanna be respectful…
imagine what we could make if he were straight
I can tell baby is depressed because im legit watching seven episodes of real housewives of miami a day and melting onto bed. but my plan is to do this until I spiritually throw-up. thats when the Purge will begin. And then I'll wake up new, ready to read Lacan and Baudelaire
i was happy a few days ago and now i am melancholic… in a few days, i will be happy again… no need to pull out your swords, my lovelies… baby will breathe again…
im a little shy right when i wake up in the morning. doesnt mean im a bad guy
i only yell at and alienated one good friend this weekend. otherwise ive been magical
Do not over-seek reassurance. After the second, or third, bump of extra sunshine, something shifts in the energy, you are assuming the position of a greedy beggar , you have disgraced the Reassurance God who does not enjoy being shaken down ,
im at fire island for the first time in my life and its making me seriously doubt the concept that there was ever a time when gay men knew how to dress themselves better than straight men. i hate to say it but carousel in bushwick has better dressed men than here
wait im stressed out. how do i tell my boyfriend that im a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl
in order to have more time for comedy podcasting, I will be following in the footsteps of my girl co-host @lmkwhenurhome and selling my nudes in my DMs. no lowbie offers please. theres a lot of comedy podcasting to do
“stop holding grudges! its not good for you!” ok girl well im saving all my forgiveness for when my future first husband cheats on me with our babysitter. (im gonna have to because hes gonna make me sign a prenup)
i miss when comedians used to ALL assume they were a little ugly— even when they weren’t. It was a narrative feature that added grit to the craft. remember liz lemon? how unaware she was that she was kind of a smoke-show? I miss that. now it’s “im hot” this and “were hot” that
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