alysteeze
@alysteeze
People say I've got a drinking problem, but I got no problem drinking at all
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"your 20s will be the greatest years of your life" me in my 20s:
Woke up to “life threatening weather sirens” blaring this morning in the midst of a storm. Texas is fun lol
If anyones available Friday the 27th to help me move let me knowwww, please and thank you
Just drank a beer that tasted like straight up bbq sauce. Don’t recommend
Don’t know why I chose a highlighter green/yellow nail color…. Super distracting
Shout out to the “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” type of people. Couldn’t be me. I’ll sleep whenever. I love me some sleep.
I am so lucky to have the best best friend anyone could ever ask for
when I was in the 4th grade I dressed up as tinker bell for Halloween and my dad made me wings out of WOOD. That shit was so heavy why did he do that to me 😂
deleting my dating apps because i want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he sells me onions, i sell him jars of spiced peaches)
Mookie has officially traded me in for Paris’ king bed and her. He is no longer sleeping with me in my bed. Idk how I feel about this
One of my favorite shirts ever worn by my student says “take care of Mother Earth, it’s not Uranus”
I’ll never forget that my dad used to dress up in the creepiest gigantic rabbit suit every Easter and give my brother and I a random gift in the middle of the night. Just imagine the trauma of being woken up by a 6’5 rabbit as a child. Miss that crazy man
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