dethbycofee's profile picture. Nah I'm good. My old tweets👇👇👇

Jeremy

@dethbycofee

Nah I'm good. My old tweets👇👇👇

Pinned

i cry when cutting onions because i trusted the onion and didnt want it to end like this


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why i oughta *charges into cartoon fight cloud* *the dust settles and i come out pregnant*


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don’t talk to me until i’ve had my morning burger


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Eat apple in front of doctor


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ketchup doesn't exist. only love exists


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(after my card declines) Strange. That account has 1 million dollars in it


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[at the muffin mans funeral]: so… how’d you know him?


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overheard my wife tell our cat to “go find something to do”


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Dodgers fans after the Dodgers signs Edwin Diaz and Kyle Tucker in the offseason


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I rebuke you lowkey


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I used to fear the black mold in my apartment bathroom but now I understand it. It’s here to help me. It’s here to make me feel good.


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I don’t even fuck around and I still be finding out


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asked my husband to make me a pb&j he’s been gone for 20 minutes i hear chopping wtf is he doing


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no more going sicko mode around my abuelito bro i’m being serious


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Evil people be like hello


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We are the granddaughters of the grandmas you couldn’t run over with reindeers


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opened two gifts this morning and they were my eyes


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[while my wife opens up her christmas present] remember when you said we needed milk


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they’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. santa’s been delivering gifts in japan for hours by now; that list is locked, do whatever you want.


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has anyone noticed what its beginning to look a lot like


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bakery drake: you used to butter all my fresh scones


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