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go ahead... just take a sip. music & animation by me
bro did you seriously just refer to my clever ruse as a “scam”
Anyone agree that #Updates are not updates. They are #Downdates ? Leave my software alone!
The guy at the sandwich shop knows I only ever order one of two sandwiches. But he still always says “Switching it up I see!” whenever I order the other one. Life is honestly so beautiful
At the bakery today they had plum galettes so I said “Plum Galette… ain’t that the big magician fella?” Sucked all the energy out of the room. Sorry guys.
I would never rob Peter to pay Paul. I would simply ask Peter for a loan to pay Paul. and then kinda figure it out from there I guess
Nice. the worst feeling ever to me would probably be despair or drowning or starving
Playing against a friend and hearing them get more and more upset is the worst feeling ever
Check the record check the record Check the guy's track record THE FALL • New Big Prinz OUT F**KING STANDING. #TheFall
I’ve decided to start the next phase of my life by gradually balding
call me sourdough culture bc a Little make a lotta bread
she got Infinite Chest and I’m dressed like david foster, red bandana on my head consider me a lobster
smoking in bed has been way less stressful since I got the Fire Vaccine. and the lung cancer vaccine
what more is there that life could offer than a tender green gourd? all else is merely distraction from cucumber
uber passenger: can we please listen to something besides the sound of a gentle spring rain storm? me behind the wheel: 👊😴👊
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