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SpaceX took social distancing to a new level this morning.🚀
Give me the beef boys and free my soul I wanna get lost in your lobster roll And Chik-fil-A
[Talking Heads GPS] YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF HEADING NORTH ON MAIN STREET. AND YOU MAY ASK YOURSELF HOW DID I GET HERE. AND YOU MAY TELL YOURSELF I NEED TO MAKE A U-TURN.
Anyone who wants to defund Planned Parenthood should be forced to watch Caillou for 90 minutes then be allowed to rethink their decision.
How are unicorns fake but giraffes are real like what’s more believable a horse with a horn or a leopard-moose-camel with a 40 foot neck.
Maybe adults aren’t afraid of monsters under the bed anymore because we know that if we get eaten by one we won’t have to go to work the next day.
Pretty sure scrunchies were named for the sound our hair made in the 80s.
You think you're having a bad Monday? The radio just played Styx and the Stones back to back, and now my bones are broken.
Why is 'boring as hell' an expression? Hell is always lit 24/7
"Eclectic" is just a word that tries to make "all over the fuckin place" sound dignified
The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we are born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.
Do you have a friend, a coworker, an acquaintance who isn't acting normal? Reach out. Ask them if they are really Scott Bakula attempting to change history for the better.
the sports are happening. and based on the human’s reactions. they are happening well. but also not well sometimes
Harry Potter themed boy band called Wand Erection
Truth.
No woman wearing a dress with pockets will fail to mention that it has pockets upon receiving a compliment on said dress.
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