Good news: I'm so blind that the tub looks amazingly clean when I shower. Bad news: I unknowingly showered with a spider.
Why does my eye keep twitching (besides from my normal extreme anger and agitation)? Interwebs, I demand an answer!
Since it's my birthday… I will send all 3 of our Record Store Day releases to the 23rd person to retweet this! scopitones.co.uk/news/forthcomi…
Is that a kazoo? Seriously, a kazoo? Thank goodness I didn't spend that $25.
Home fries are NOT the same as hash browns. Please don't say my omelet comes w/ hash browns & serve me home fries. Still angry 36hrs later.
I'm probably the only one in town who keeps turning off the AC. I can't help it that I find 86° to be extremely comfortable.
My positive outlook for the day: Appreciating red lights by micro-napping during them.
Good, Lord, Waffles! Stop clawing at the window. Damn you and your walnut-sized brain.
I'll always be more excited to be in the presence of David Gedge than Joaquin Phoenix, whom I apparently stood next to for 30 mins on 3/17.
Jim just said, "It's nice that she (Maddona) got Julianne Moore's costume from The Big Lebowski." Snort.
Oh, Bunnymen. Really? Audi AND vampires? I'm appalled. Wait, I only know this secondhand. I'm not watching whatever is on right now.
Will attempt to seduce my man tonight with the dulcet sound of my sneezes.
Must settle instead for a sexually ambiguous cat wearing a scarf.
My evening: Fire Walk With Me and Shameless UK. Both incoherent in their own way. The night would be better with @laroux74 next to me.
People who celebrate Christmas: Get off the Apple site already so I can reserve my iPhone 4S for Chicken Day tomorrow. Assholes.
Thankfully, I don't think accidentally spray painting my left hand light blue will give away what my Chicken Day gift to CSP is.
Sure, I want some of those Pillsbury Crescent dogs, but come on, don't try to sell me on the idea they are a good dinner idea.
About to mop the bathroom floor in my Hawaiian muumuu--Sorry boys, I'm already spoken for.
United States الاتجاهات
- 1. Giannis N/A
- 2. Nicki N/A
- 3. Schwartz N/A
- 4. Monken N/A
- 5. Browns N/A
- 6. Bucks N/A
- 7. #OlandriaxRobertWun N/A
- 8. Apple Cider Vinegar N/A
- 9. Rubio N/A
- 10. Fulton County N/A
- 11. Ms. Shirley N/A
- 12. Milwaukee N/A
- 13. Trump Accounts N/A
- 14. Omar N/A
- 15. Rand Paul N/A
- 16. #dressdanandphil N/A
- 17. Staged N/A
- 18. Patrick Reed N/A
- 19. Jimmy Haslam N/A
- 20. #OlandriaxValentino N/A
Something went wrong.
Something went wrong.