implossible_'s profile picture. oops, sorry equality is cramping your style 🤷🏻‍♀️ she/her - my opinions are not necessarily those of my employer

unbeloafable 🇵🇸

@implossible_

oops, sorry equality is cramping your style 🤷🏻‍♀️ she/her - my opinions are not necessarily those of my employer

Just told my boss “That sounds exhausting. Sounds like you have about 100 balls to be jiggling” JIGGLING???? Are you kidding me???? Anyways. Anyone hiring 😭


At Remy’s restaurant you don’t get the chef’s special, you get a special chef


unbeloafable 🇵🇸 أعاد

One minute you’re young and carefree and the next you’re the person who falls asleep on the couch after dinner and says “I was just resting my eyes for a minute."


unbeloafable 🇵🇸 أعاد

"Free for a quick call? Easier to explain on the phone."

_TommyMason's tweet image. "Free for a quick call? Easier to explain on the phone."

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BREAKING: horrific loss and damage as 50 million people are displaced by climate chaos in Pakistan 🧵 #LossAndDamage


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WeirdBongs's tweet image.

unbeloafable 🇵🇸 أعاد
deviIette's tweet image.

unbeloafable 🇵🇸 أعاد

Today, the Supreme Court not only reversed nearly 50 years of precedent, it relegated the most intensely personal decision someone can make to the whims of politicians and ideologues—attacking the essential freedoms of millions of Americans.


having anxiety is spending the last two years tweeting directly to your drafts and revisiting them once a month to see if they’re funny enough to actually tweet but deciding each time that they’re not


Only people who eat soup will understand—do not try to understand if you do not eat soup Drinking cold water during/after eating soup Again, if you do not get it, it is likely that you don’t eat soup


Can’t stop thinking about the time a gas station attendant sympathetically asked Hannah if she was “goin in or coming out” of a work shift because she was wearing an T&T Mart Animal Crossing tshirt


I use a 2-in-1 Shampoo Conditioner. There. I said it. I am ashamed, sure, but do you know how fast my showers are? So fast. Think of the environment.


unbeloafable 🇵🇸 أعاد

academia should consider changing "et al." to "& besties"


Live by the email, die by the email 😔


My favorite thing about zoom is seeing all the books behind my professors and wondering how I’m going to cultivate that aesthetic in my office when the last book I read was Metamorphosis six years ago


United States الاتجاهات

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