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some parts of you will never exist until you meet the right person my latest essay is on love as invention, molten selves, and the people who rearrange us i'd love to hear what you think if you read :)
imagining moments of safe attachment has the same effect as actually experiencing them in other words: your subconscious cannot tell the difference between an imagined experience & a real one which gives us incredible power to shape our own patterns
you've heard of outside context problems...get ready for outside context opportunities
i am myself an offering to god, and i don't offer the gods second-best.
moral anxiety & rigidity often co-occurs with self-hatred & shame, and I think this is bc the sufferer knows what a violent sadist they can be intrapsychically. the inner abuser and victim are both hiding behind & protecting the functioning of the apparently normal persona.
there's a way of looking at someone that draws your attention towards who they are becoming... and they can catch their own reflection in your eyes and start seeing themselves that way too
Chiming in on dinner party gift discourse- many people are taught etiquette rules but not its PURPOSE. Etiquette is a social lubricant. It makes it possible to be charming when you are rizzless, to be friendly when you are introverted, and to be gracious when you are awkward.
So I host a lot of dinner parties. In SF, 85% of guests show up empty-handed. And if someone does bring something like wine & it’s not opened, they’ll often take it back home. I’ve seen this happen not just at my own parties, but others’ too. It’s so odd to me. That was never the…
this bitch has been experiencing their own desires as persecutory external demands wack
what makes an effective therapist is mostly relational attunement & skills developed in a challenging childhood home plus the compassion, clarity, & inner security of having worked through, accepted, and integrated the wounding from such a childhood.
Those capable of holding multiple paradoxes often derive a near-erotic psychic pleasure from doing so - thus, their lives and relationships tend to embody this accordingly.
u're not lonely bc u lack community, u're lonely bc u're not willing to work to maintain community community isn't an ambient vibe u passively absorb - it's the accumulated weight of showing up&caring for others, even when not totally feelin it ppl keep reversing the causality
Avoidants are not *consciously* lying when they say they feel fine or unaffected by challenging circumstances. Because expressing negative feelings or vulnerability often led to rejection for them early on, their minds have wired to compulsively redirect their attention towards…
fully acknowledging that you want money / sex / status / comfort / security / attention / love as a natural part of being human counterintuitively decreases the power those desires have to control your actions
The universe prefers. It organizes energy & matter in particular ways, and configurations that don't accord with it are unstable. It works, and it cares about its work. Value precedes being and time. It is a matter of the utmost seriousness to love Quality.
zygmunt bauman (modern social theorist) says that the constantly shifting and unclear nature of our time period also applies to interpersonal relationships: no one is quite sure what it means, specifically, to be a parent, a grandparent, a friend, a coworker, and so on. […]
![owenbroadcast's tweet image. zygmunt bauman (modern social theorist) says that the constantly shifting and unclear nature of our time period also applies to interpersonal relationships: no one is quite sure what it means, specifically, to be a parent, a grandparent, a friend, a coworker, and so on.
[…]](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GoI-sq5XIAA7yNu.jpg)
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