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Any tweets of mine that you do not find funny are just inside jokes you’re not a part of.
We will follow its return North and claim new lands!
We are literally looking at a "The Day After Tomorrow" situation in Florida on Tuesday! I have my falling iguana helmet and flame thrower ready to fight this unholy cold and will not retreat to Key West under any circumstances! We can beat this fellow Floridians! Godspeed!
These are the runway lengths at Bush Intercontinental in Houston. You could put a pharmacy at either end and one in the middle of each runway and this motherfucker still wouldn’t be happy.
My dad and I had lunch at a burger joint on the river front today, and got burgers, fries, and a couple of beers for $42. If we’d gone to McDonald’s and gotten some quarter pounder meals in the drive thru, it’d have been $32. McD being only $10 cheaper than sit down is absurd
Real recognizes real.
I asked Grok to generate an image of Jason Momoa as a moa so you wouldn’t have to buy it seems you still have to
GITMO
I just had Mac & cheese for the first time in like 7 years😭 It was rlly good but it needed to be sweet so I added blueberry jam(& cottage cheese) & it was PERFECT (I ate the whole box😈)
The CIA Agent assigned to you goes home at the end of his day to get drunk and yell at his wife, you monster.
This is how I dress when I post.
Not boding well for his mayorship
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