U're joking, right?
@_workisms_
Tales of a restaurant nothing-What I think/say/want to say to my coworkers and the fucktards who patronize my work. You probably know me by another name
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Q: What comes with the soup? --> A fucking filet you moron. Crackers. CRACKERS come with the soup.
Q: what is this? A: calamari Q: why does it have tentacles? Calamari is just circles. --> my NYE.
Damn, I love drunk hospitality employees with ca$h in hand who patronize my bar after they finish working. That ca$h ends up in my hand!
WHY, when given the opportunity to 'choose a table', do people always choose the ONLY table that needs cleared? HELLO-are you fucking blind?
Ya know that feeling where you know a staff member is getting fired and you are taking their place and you can't look at them? Ugh. I do.
People sitting outside in the chill and wind....Can you recommend something warm? --> Move inside?
Q: Is there a way to stop the wind from blowing on the patio?--> Sure. We can do our stop the wind dance. Give us 5 mins to get in costume.
POS is down. Repeat, POS is down. Fucking staff is losing their minds...what little bit they have left. Shoot me!
What do you get when the father of the bride RSVPs 50 but 96 show up? A mutha fuckin' clusterfuck. THAT'S what. A joyous night it was....
Q: Is the chocolate cake like the brownie dessert or like chocolate cake? A: It is cake. Q: So the cake isn't like the brownie?->IT IS CAKE!
We'd like to eat dinner and watch the sunset. Do you think there will be a sunset with all of these clouds?->Let me check my weather station
A lady just stripped her kid's diaper off and put on a fresh one AT HER TABLE! Lady! Do you not see the people around you eating??? Idiot!
Q: Do you all have the heat on outside? --> Lady, this is FL. It is 90 degrees. Do you really, REALLY think we even have heat?
Question of the day, everyday: Is the outside area air conditioned? --> Of course it is. We cool the sand for you as well. Follow me. Fools.
Q: is the outside air conditioned? -->Yes, it is. It is also dehumidified for our non-Flordian clientele. Now, follow me to your beach table
Every sever/bartenders knows they are screwed when they hear, 'I'm a really good tipper.' I just hear those words. I'm screwed.
A couple decided to sit OUTSIDE (in Fl). The woman said it was hot and asked if we turned on the furnace!-->Ma'am, we do NOT have a furnace!
Will you be open during the hurricane? Oh yes, we'll be riding out the storm RIGHT ON the beach so you have a place to drink you dumb fuck.
26 people...Q: Can we get separate checks? ---> Absolutely! At Burger King. Have it your way!
13 hours behind a fucking bar is cruel and unusual punishment. I feel great. How was your day?
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