difficultpatty's profile picture. Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://twitter.com/search?q=from%3Adifficultpatty%20exclude%3Areplies&src=typed_query

your other mom

@difficultpatty

Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://twitter.com/search?q=from%3Adifficultpatty%20exclude%3Areplies&src=typed_query

고정된 트윗

I haven’t licked an envelope in over two decades without thinking of George Costanza.


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Some of you don’t understand the significance of ‘she’s dressed in yellow; she says hello’; and it shows.


A student accidentally farted super loudly in class and I didn’t laugh what do I win.


Throwing caution to the wind by drinking coffee at 2pm like some kind of daredevil.


Never purchased something more quickly in my life.

difficultpatty's tweet image. Never purchased something more quickly in my life.

I moved so now I have a new grocery store where I try to avoid people I know.


If I ever get a tattoo it will be of something super special like my kids’ birthdays or some Doritos.


I wish I loved anything as much as Californians love talking about which route they took.


Dipped a grilled cheese sandwich in queso. Cheese inception.


Me: I have a grilled cheese sandwich in my pocket. Him: Sexier words have never been spoken.


Happiest birthday to the beautiful @emily_tweets !!! If you don’t follow her, you’re missing out. 🎉🔥🎉🔥


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I hate when I realize I could’ve taken my bra off hours ago


If you like being overstimulated, teaching middle school might be for you.


Put pepperoncinis on your grilled cheese sandwich and thank me later.


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Just a crockpot girl living in an air fryer world


Guys. Keanu Reeves followed me. For the 11th time.


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I can’t explain it, but this is the Mondayest Wednesday ever.


Thank you to all Veterans. Thank you so much for your service.


One time I was teaching Sunday School and I asked the kids what was one kind thing we could do for others and a 1st grader said, “We could not shoot people in their penis with a Nerf gun” and I think we should all abide by this advice.


Keep the magic alive by learning new things about your spouse like I just learned my husband has never put IKEA furniture together and oh boy is he in for a treat tonight.


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