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Your cat isn’t a “heckin chonker” bro it’s going to die
that place you bought a mattress from 4 yrs ago, reminding you Via email, that now is the perfect time to practice your Calmness Strategies
Ppl be posting pics of crowded Costcos raggin on the chaos but like bro you’re there too you are the chaos to someone else
this dog literally failed every single test thrown at him to become a service dog and i am scream laughing. but imho he’s still a very very good boy.
deploying designers code to production is like the Beatles letting Ringo sing a few you're not really comfortable but there's an obligation
@McDonalds and it is necessary, I believe, to threaten your customers with some sort of villain, to increase the perceived valueof your food
SHORTY SLID DOWN THAT MF LIKE SHE HAD CRISCO ON HER CHEEKS😭😭😭😭😭😭
It is 2703 AD. The world has been ravaged by nuclear warfare. Civilization has fallen. The Kia Rockin' Summer Sales Event is still going on.
Sleep has become a measure of success: The more you get, the more powerful you seem nyti.ms/2pePshw
TSA agent (checking my ID): "Hawk, like that skateboarder Tony Hawk!" Me: exactly Her: "Cool, I wonder what he's up to these days" Me: this
Don't let people telling you happy Valentine's Day distract you from what day it really is...
Trump Supporter Has Few Backup Scapegoats Ready To Go In Case Crackdown On Immigrants Doesn’t Fix Everything trib.al/FyWrRUH
This is Obama's last chance to institute sharia law and he's doing NOTHING.
things trump cares enough about to tweet himself: tv ratings things aides have to tweet about for him: son’s birthday, tragic mass shooting
Looks like I picked the wrong four years to quit sniffing glue.
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