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We now have arrived at the portion of the year in which I’m always hungry and can always eat more.
Some people fuck around and then are OBLIVIOUS when they are supposed to be finding out!
People will stare. Make it worth their while.
I think the elephant really ties the room together.
i just heard the phrase, “if you wouldn’t trust their advice, don’t trust their criticism” for the first time and i don’t think i’ve ever needed to hear anything more
I'm tired of explaining myself to people who refuse to understand
Social media is like a soap opera. You can stay away for months. Then tune in one day, and it's all the same people saying all the same shit.
Be the bitch everyone thinks you are * me as a therapist
I just went through my Tupperware cabinet and only ended up with one extra lid. Nbd.
I feel like you should be diagnosed as ‘having more shit than a goose’.
I wish you could see you like I see you.
Plot twist: It all goes well, and it keeps getting better. Stay in your magic!
I want to retweet you— It’s just your tweets don’t make any sense.
Pretty disappointed, I was missing and no one bothered to put my face on a milk carton.
People just don’t name their sons Ebeneezer anymore and I think that’s sad.
Hear me out: videos of freshly cooked corn cobs, being sexily, erotically slathered with a knob of butter, and we call it CornHub
Not making a choice definitely makes the choice.
If you just took the time to get to know me, you’d like me even less.
i love ring camera videos. they’re like america’s funniest home videos if it was run by the CIA
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