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Me sitting at trivia night with six Alexas disguised in wigs and mustache glasses: Mamas getting free drinks tonight.
The greatest atrocity of the 21st century made even worse by the fact that intelligent and informed people justified it, lied about and pretended it was all so confusing.
I’ve been trying to embrace the idea that everything will be ok and that thought is wrong but very resilient
Lots of talk about a Harris/Count Orlok ticket. Smart move. A moderate from the swing state of Transylvania. Could be difficult with the Wisborg vote though.
I’ve met with 20+ contractors in the last month bc of a nightmare house issue. Unbelievable amount of handshaking. At least three per interaction. New strategy is a nice flaccid hand on the initial to indicate this is not a handshake buffet. Will continue to refine technique.
scientist writing the first law of thermodynamics: New babies don’t make the earth heavier 2nd scientist: Hey bud let me give it a try. “Energy can change forms but it can’t be created or destroyed” 1st scientist: I’m fucking your wife
So everyone stops asking…Yes I got in early and invested wisely and now I have 1 million crypto and live very comfortably
Sitting in a beanbag that work added to make the office more fun. I hope I get lice
Dating apps are fun. Being asked daily if I’m insane as a pickup line is good for me. I cannot wait to banter with Evan.
My life’s dream is to become a change management consultant at Bain & Company
I love EAV. Everyone puts on their little grunge outfit and is like gimme a beer!
Had a nightmare that all apps on your phone were subscription based even the preloaded ones and you had to pay for everything. I bought the cheapest package for my alarm and had already run out of snoozes for the month.
My husband wants the above ground pool in the divorce. I told my lawyer he can have it but only if I can have the Texas Roadhouse gift cards we found under the bleachers at little Pete’s judo tournament.
United States Trends
- 1. Kash N/A
- 2. Tourette N/A
- 3. #AKOTSK N/A
- 4. #LCDLF6 N/A
- 5. Claressa N/A
- 6. FBI Director N/A
- 7. Lakers N/A
- 8. #IndustryHBO N/A
- 9. #RHOP N/A
- 10. 960 SAT N/A
- 11. #AKnightOfTheSevenKingdoms N/A
- 12. Maekar N/A
- 13. Oriana N/A
- 14. Payton Pritchard N/A
- 15. El Mencho N/A
- 16. Celtics N/A
- 17. Celinee N/A
- 18. México N/A
- 19. Canadians N/A
- 20. Puerto Vallarta N/A
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