Gary Pascal
@GaryPascal
Contributor @theOnion | Co-host @murdertownpod | Trash donkey
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It's pretty bullshit that a song called Piano Man starts with a fuckload of harmonica
In America, the public pays for stadiums, the owners become billionaires whether they win or not, the players get a salary cap, and beer is $18. Taking your family to a game is the cost of what used to be a vacation. But if you wanna change that, you’re naive or worse.
It is a complete mystery why the world used to have the exact same color grading as the Kodak Ultramax 400 your parents bought when you were a child and now it doesn't
"The average American taxpayer spends $36 per year to support the SNAP program. The average American taxpayer spends $670 per year on corporate subsidies."
This must be amazing if you're not really into the whole 'jokes' or 'storyline' aspects of sitcoms, and the thing you like about TV is just seeing all the colours and shapes moving around
Sitcoms will never be the same. This is fully AI generated in LTX-2 x.com/fofrAI/status/…
What if gambling wasn’t legal or illegal, but a secret third option: We build a magical glowing city in the middle of the desert where all vices are legal, but the system also regulates itself by making you feel really gross if you’re ever there for more than a few days.
What's the best argument that the liberalization of sports betting laws has made the country better off?
I’m very sincere when I say I struggle to understand the psychology of people who think political power has been usurped by a tyrant, but who also think it is important to be “non-confrontational.”
The No Kings rally was massive! Below is a thread of everything this non-violent, non-confrontational protest achieved:
After spending a lifetime not riding buses out of fear and hatred of the poor, area man rides bus for the first time out of fear and hatred of the poor riding them for free in the future
Riding a bus before Zohran makes them free homeless shelters
I found Mamdani's campaign rhetoric too soft, so I'd rather have Benjamin Netanyahu's lawyer win. I'm deeply committed to Palestine, as you can tell from the flag in my bio.
When Mamdani first won his primary and most of the left were celebrating, I tried very hard not to rain on their parade and said that while it was possible for his victory to be good for the movement, it would depend on how he led. I’m at the point now where I need him to lose.
Anyone who engages in broad comparisons like this fundamentally misunderstands the nature of intelligence and is likely less intelligent than the average graduate of either major
there are ppl that believes history majors are more intelligent than engineers.
Putting wheels on this cross to bear is the best possible metaphor for American Evangelicalism
important to understand that the scramble to throw abortion / trans /immigrant rights etc under the bus on the supposed altar of Savvy Pragmatic Compromise is 100% because they see it as the only place you go to pick up votes when left economic populism is 100% off the table
Not the time Jiankui
Gene-enhanced super horses should be allowed in sport of horse racing.
If you dont know what most of your employees do you are the replaceable part
The Chairman of Opendoor says: "There's 1400 employees at Opendoor. I don't know what most of them do. We don't need more than 200 of them. It's gotten easier because of the advent of AI and other technologies. This will be a simple problem."
Have no fear, Republicans will bail you out at some point with a huge chunk of taxpayer money to pay you for not being able to sell your products because of their policies. Then you can post on social media that you’re voting for them because you are against socialism.
Soybean farmer: We depend on the Chinese market. And right now we have 0 sold for this crop. It's a 5 alarm fire for our industry. We are not price competitive with Brazil due to the retaliatory tariffs. Our prices are about 20% higher, and that means that the Chinese are going…
Charlie Kirk was a champion of free speech and anyone who says otherwise will be fired
klein could have just written that political violence is wrong without composing a paean to kirk and eliding his actual views. he wrote this because for him the form is everything and the substance is nothing
Soybean farmer: We depend on the Chinese market. And right now we have 0 sold for this crop. It's a 5 alarm fire for our industry. We are not price competitive with Brazil due to the retaliatory tariffs. Our prices are about 20% higher, and that means that the Chinese are going…
The very suggestion that the "Oversight Committee" would "take the president at his word" is preposterously disqualifying.
House Oversight Chairman James Comer says he will take Trump “at his word” that letter to Epstein with his name and signature are not his. His panel won’t probe the issue. “I don't think the Oversight Committee is going to invest in looking up something that was 22 years ago”
"Where do centrists find our Mamdani?" You had your Mamdani. His name was Barack Obama. He had once-in-a-generation charisma. And because centrism is a bankrupt, useless ideology, he was a terrible president. You had your chance, sorry!
House Oversight Chairman James Comer says he will take Trump “at his word” that letter to Epstein with his name and signature are not his. His panel won’t probe the issue. “I don't think the Oversight Committee is going to invest in looking up something that was 22 years ago”
Republicans have deliberately chosen to adopt maximally antisocial positions/beliefs, the burden is on them to figure out how to make friends again
A bunch of social science research, including our own survey, suggests that liberals are *WAY* more likely to cut off conservatives than the other way around — and that young voters (and young liberals, in particular) are especially likely to cut off friends and family in a way…
This is not the fundamental divide. The fundamental divide is between those still pretending Trump is the anomalous cause of the democracy/oligarchy crisis & those who know Trump is the culmination/symptom of both parties’ leaders colluding to create that crisis.
The fundamental divide of the Democratic Party is between those who believe Donald Trump is an existential threat to democracy and those who think he is very bad, but survivable.
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