java_assassin's profile picture. Unapologetically Semipresent 
Idiot Savant (like 1% Savant...)
(crouton/seasoned cracker)
minimally melanated mom person

Broken Puppet

@java_assassin

Unapologetically Semipresent Idiot Savant (like 1% Savant...) (crouton/seasoned cracker) minimally melanated mom person

مثبتة

Stretch marks? You mean sick ass lightning tattoos?


Broken Puppet أعاد

We’re ten minutes into Short Circuit and I’ve already heard “son of a bitch,” “bullshit, and “fucker.” 80’s PG movies were just built different.


Broken Puppet أعاد

You want me to get involved in the community? That place outside? Where there are people?


Broken Puppet أعاد

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? 1. put your phone down 2. go outside


Broken Puppet أعاد

Nice injury you got there. Be a real shame if someone added insult to it.


Broken Puppet أعاد

Sometimes I feel young, and then I remember the number we’d call to get the correct time to set our clocks


Broken Puppet أعاد

When someone tells me I’m gaslighting them I set them on fire.


Broken Puppet أعاد

Office rock bands don't practice... They just have printer jams


Broken Puppet أعاد

Nobody asks a rhetorical question better than the server at a Mexican restaurant asking if you’d like a refill on the chips.


Broken Puppet أعاد

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try


Broken Puppet أعاد

They've officially canceled school for tomorrow because of snow but we aren't telling the kids because why ruin an early bedtime?


Broken Puppet أعاد

Keep your hands to yourself lady, I invited you over to craft and that's what we're going to do.


Broken Puppet أعاد

Introverts wear glasses to avoid eye contacts


Broken Puppet أعاد

You keep asking where the devil is like you haven’t even looked in the details.


Broken Puppet أعاد

Let's make it 8, I have a conference call with my demons at 7.


Broken Puppet أعاد

You’re the human version of boiled egg farts.


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