java_assassin's profile picture. Unapologetically Semipresent 
Idiot Savant (like 1% Savant...)
(crouton/seasoned cracker)
minimally melanated mom person

Broken Puppet

@java_assassin

Unapologetically Semipresent Idiot Savant (like 1% Savant...) (crouton/seasoned cracker) minimally melanated mom person

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Stretch marks? You mean sick ass lightning tattoos?


Broken Puppet сделал(а) репост

We’re ten minutes into Short Circuit and I’ve already heard “son of a bitch,” “bullshit, and “fucker.” 80’s PG movies were just built different.


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You want me to get involved in the community? That place outside? Where there are people?


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Wanna know what the 90’s were like? 1. put your phone down 2. go outside


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Nice injury you got there. Be a real shame if someone added insult to it.


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Sometimes I feel young, and then I remember the number we’d call to get the correct time to set our clocks


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When someone tells me I’m gaslighting them I set them on fire.


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Office rock bands don't practice... They just have printer jams


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Nobody asks a rhetorical question better than the server at a Mexican restaurant asking if you’d like a refill on the chips.


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My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try


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They've officially canceled school for tomorrow because of snow but we aren't telling the kids because why ruin an early bedtime?


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Keep your hands to yourself lady, I invited you over to craft and that's what we're going to do.


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Introverts wear glasses to avoid eye contacts


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You keep asking where the devil is like you haven’t even looked in the details.


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Let's make it 8, I have a conference call with my demons at 7.


Broken Puppet сделал(а) репост

You’re the human version of boiled egg farts.


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