java_assassin's profile picture. Unapologetically Semipresent 
Idiot Savant (like 1% Savant...)
(crouton/seasoned cracker)
minimally melanated mom person

Broken Puppet

@java_assassin

Unapologetically Semipresent Idiot Savant (like 1% Savant...) (crouton/seasoned cracker) minimally melanated mom person

Épinglé

Stretch marks? You mean sick ass lightning tattoos?


Broken Puppet a reposté

We’re ten minutes into Short Circuit and I’ve already heard “son of a bitch,” “bullshit, and “fucker.” 80’s PG movies were just built different.


Broken Puppet a reposté

You want me to get involved in the community? That place outside? Where there are people?


Broken Puppet a reposté

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? 1. put your phone down 2. go outside


Broken Puppet a reposté

Nice injury you got there. Be a real shame if someone added insult to it.


Broken Puppet a reposté

Sometimes I feel young, and then I remember the number we’d call to get the correct time to set our clocks


Broken Puppet a reposté

When someone tells me I’m gaslighting them I set them on fire.


Broken Puppet a reposté

Office rock bands don't practice... They just have printer jams


Broken Puppet a reposté

Nobody asks a rhetorical question better than the server at a Mexican restaurant asking if you’d like a refill on the chips.


Broken Puppet a reposté

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try


Broken Puppet a reposté

They've officially canceled school for tomorrow because of snow but we aren't telling the kids because why ruin an early bedtime?


Broken Puppet a reposté

Keep your hands to yourself lady, I invited you over to craft and that's what we're going to do.


Broken Puppet a reposté

Introverts wear glasses to avoid eye contacts


Broken Puppet a reposté

You keep asking where the devil is like you haven’t even looked in the details.


Broken Puppet a reposté

Let's make it 8, I have a conference call with my demons at 7.


Broken Puppet a reposté

You’re the human version of boiled egg farts.


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