Broken Puppet
@java_assassin
Unapologetically Semipresent Idiot Savant (like 1% Savant...) (crouton/seasoned cracker) minimally melanated mom person
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We’re ten minutes into Short Circuit and I’ve already heard “son of a bitch,” “bullshit, and “fucker.” 80’s PG movies were just built different.
You want me to get involved in the community? That place outside? Where there are people?
Wanna know what the 90’s were like? 1. put your phone down 2. go outside
Nice injury you got there. Be a real shame if someone added insult to it.
Sometimes I feel young, and then I remember the number we’d call to get the correct time to set our clocks
When someone tells me I’m gaslighting them I set them on fire.
Office rock bands don't practice... They just have printer jams
Nobody asks a rhetorical question better than the server at a Mexican restaurant asking if you’d like a refill on the chips.
My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try
They've officially canceled school for tomorrow because of snow but we aren't telling the kids because why ruin an early bedtime?
Keep your hands to yourself lady, I invited you over to craft and that's what we're going to do.
Introverts wear glasses to avoid eye contacts
You keep asking where the devil is like you haven’t even looked in the details.
Let's make it 8, I have a conference call with my demons at 7.
You’re the human version of boiled egg farts.
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